So why, you ask, do Christians keep an annual season — 40 days — devoted to self-examination and repentance? Isn’t that a bit of a downer?
Not really.
But then, I’ve always liked washing windows.
I don’t wash them nearly often enough, but that’s another story. When I do, it is fantastic.
I usually start when the room is getting gloomy even on sunny days. Grimy, streaky glass. Ugh.
Then I find the Windex. I find some towels.
Spray. Wipe. Polish. Repeat.
The surface shines. It actually squeaks. Very cool.
The joy comes when I step inside: the whole room is different.
My whole world is more beautiful. Dealing with the dirt lets light stream in.
That’s Lent.
That’s repentance.
As I’ve noted before, in the Heidelberg Catechism “repentance” has two dimensions: “dying away of the old self” and “rising to life” — out with the old, and in with the new. The “rising to life” part is clearly a happy thing.
I think, though, that even the “dying away” part is good. Lent, repentance, can be as life-giving as a good Spring cleaning. Here’s how the Catechism (that widely used and well-loved 451 year old summary of biblical Christianity) describes it:
89 Q. What is the dying-away of the old self? A. To be genuinely sorry for sin and more and more to hate and run away from it.
There are lots of reasons to feel “sorry for sin” and some of my posts this Lent will look at them. For today I want to suggest it is a lot like sitting in your living room on a bright late-winter day and realizing it looks gross.
Why does everything look kind of dim and gray?
The windows! I HATE these dirty windows! This is horrible!
And then you notice it is a warm late-winter day. After weeks and weeks when you couldn’t take the frozen air, today is sunny. The snow is thawing. When the sun is shining, dirty windows are a solvable problem.
GET ME THAT WINDEX!
When you feel sorry about an actual problem, that is a step toward solving it.
When you decide you hate that problem, that is another step toward solving it.
When you get up and move, when you run from that problem, and toward the solution, notice what you feel:
That’s the joy of Lent.
The Heidelberg Catechism isn’t saying that our own efforts are the solution to the sin that ruins our lives. The writers were very clear that it is Jesus who frees us. An ongoing relationship of wholehearted trust — faith — is how he brings us through.
In Lent we are running from sin, but not all alone. We are running with Jesus.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments: What feelings do “Lent” and “repentance” spark in you?
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Tim Reyna says
When I read the phrase ‘sorry for sin’ in your blog,
the first thing that came to my mind was how people
use that phrase to express sympathy. as in,
“I feel sorry for that poor woman”
Then as I continued I got the intended meaning of ‘sorry as regret’.
But then I let the idea of somehow having a bit of sympathy for my sin,
roam in my mind to see where it might lead…
What ‘need’ is in the sin that is missing from my life.
… and there is an answer, that I will keep to myself.
However, I spent some time talking to Jesus about it. – Tim
Gary Neal Hansen says
Thanks, Tim, for sharing these reflections. Rich stuff.
I like the idea of having sympathy for sin — I think Jesus approaches us with that kind of “sorry” even as he walks with us toward change. I also think you ask an excellent question when you consider the need behind or underneath the sin.
Blessings on you this Lent.
Susan Honeycutt says
Gary, thank you for the post. I do self-reflection and try to keep short “accounts” with God. Yet, this year, moving from reflection and repentance beyond a daily mess up level for sins into total self-examination in depth, is harder than in the past. I’m glad that there is 40 days to really move into and through the process of an entire life review. I like what Tim had to say. I can identify with that as well.
Your analogy of cleaning windows is almost humorous to me because I don’t like to clean windows. During past years, lent has been a time when I I have focused on deeper behaviors, false beliefs or values beneath the water level of daily living. This year, it seems I’m having a harder time doing that. This year, I believe it is to be about motivation. So your phrase “suggest it is a lot like sitting in your living room on a bright late-winter day and realizing it looks gross.” rather hits home. I’m looking forward to your continued series.
I am encouraged to consider this lent in a new way. It has encouraged me to again say “I hate dirty windows” and looking into the “sympathy for sin”, to look beneath the behavior to the motivation. Even the motivation of procrastination to get moving on the self examination process. So once again, thank you for moving me from dead stop to directional change.
Gary Neal Hansen says
You are welcome, Susan. And thank you for sharing about your Lents past and present.
Praying for a holy time of reflection and new life,
Gary
Brint Keyes says
I find your use of “hate” towards the dirty windows to be more effective (and indeed more accurate, perhaps because i find it less ambiguous) than HC’s use of the word “sorry” towards sin. The distaste that you convey in your windows example is, I think, critical to true repentance. It is one thing to say, “What I did was bad/wrong/sinful, and I’m truly sorry that I did it, and I want to do better.” I’m all too familiar with this line of thought in my own life and prayers. The “loophole,” as it were, that this “version” of repentance leaves unaddressed is the unacknowledged truth that even while I know that what I did WAS bad, and even though I truly AM sorry I did it, and even though I sincerely DO want to do better, there is still a part of me that would love to do it again. The mere fact that the occasion for a sinner’s contrition is his sin does not render his contrition — his emotion — his sorrow — any less sincere or real.
Yet it is an entirely different thing to look upon one’s sin and have one’s eyes opened by grace to see beyond its fleshly attraction and perceive its true, sinful character. Only when that happens will one abandon the illusion that one can grow in faith by “trying to do better” while continuing to find the sin attractive. Instead, true repentance occurs when one sees clearly, with the eyes of God, how truly undesirable a sin is, and how beautiful and holy true faithfulness is. (I should also mention that, having once beheld the true nature of a particular sin, one is not therefore forever after guaranteed to be immune to its appeal. Would that that were so. :- )
I can’t help but think of the people who decide to go to AA (one of whom is a close family member). Many alcoholics spend years struggling with the first “version” of repentance. They DO know it’s wrong, they ARE sorry they did it, they DO want to do better. But it’s only when their eyes are opened and they fully behold the utter destruction that lies within the pretty bottle — and suddenly develop a true and visceral distaste for that destruction (or, in your case, dirty window) — that they make the decision to TURN.
Much more than I planned to write. Perhaps some of it will feed the sermon-writing that I should be doing right now… 😉
Gary Neal Hansen says
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Brint. Very insightful.
It is a fascinating, if horrifying thing, being human, eh? Knowing the destruction caused, and even coming to a place of “visceral distaste” brings repentance — but not freedom from attraction, temptation, and the capacity to fall.
I suppose it is part of growing toward the renewed image of God that will lead the attraction of the beauty of holiness to be stronger than the other side…
Brint Keyes says
Aha — now that I go back and read the HC again, I see that it ALSO uses the word “hate.” Well, bully for the HC…
😉
I knew there was a reason I liked it so much…
Joe Pruett says
Dr. Hansen, your analogy is really cool. Running with Jesus in faith is the key. I like the words written by some of the other posters, Brint speaks of the idea of knowing what we are doing wrong is wrong, but once we realize (putting down the bottle) that we can move beyond this wrong we will seek true repentance and joy is the key. It’s the moving part that’s important. I’m not much of a yard working type of person, but occassionally, I get the “urge” to clean the yard and do all that stuff that some find fun. During this time, cutting bushes and planting mulch, actually becomes fun…..seeking repentance for my sins and running from them in faith with Jesus is kind of like this as well, it becomes clearer to me that my wrongs are forgiven and help me try not to commit the same wrongs again.