Gary Neal Hansen

Theology. It's good for you.

  • About
    • Speaking
    • Contact
    • Home
  • Books
    • Love Your Bible
    • Christmas Play
    • Kneeling with Giants
    • Review Crew
  • Library
    • Join
    • Login
  • Blog
  • Lenten Prayer Class log in
    • Lenten Prayer Class Info
    • Class Info: Your First Sermon
      • Your 1st Sermon — Course Login
    • Advent Lectio Divina Class Info!
      • Lectio Divina Class Log In
    • “Pray Like a Reformer” Class Info
      • Pray Like a Reformer Login
  • Christmas Play
  • Love Your Bible
  • Kneeling with Giants

Fighting Inner Demons (The Writer’s Inner Life)

August 29, 2016 by Gary Neal Hansen 4 Comments

fighting inner demons
Michelangelo, The Torment of Saint Anthony

For a few posts now I’ve been exploring the writer’s inner life. Today this series of posts becomes all the more important to me: my kids have returned to school, so I am able to write full time.

So, daily, I need to write.

We’re all fighting inner demons

And to write I have to defeat certain invisible opponents who would stand in my way.

  • Steven Pressfield personifies them as “Resistance.”
  • The Desert Fathers and Mothers called them “Demons.”
  • A purely secular psychology might call them addictions, neuroses, personality disorders.

The inner battles are against habits and forces. They set up roadblocks and distractions to keep me from getting the work done.

Secular or religious, when you encounter them these forces seem pretty personal. Who would blame even a purely agnostic addict in recovery from saying he was “fighting inner demons”?

Antony: The Father of the Desert Fathers

I greatly admire the “father” of the Desert Fathers, Antony the Great, who sought the hermit’s life before the Egyptian desert before it was filled with monks.

When his parents died, he first set himself up as an urban hermit.

He wasn’t trying to write. He was trying to follow Christ in the way of salvation. (The two goals can, of course, go together.)

To grow he had to win his inner battles. He had to wrestle with his demons.

Now here’s the great thing: These demons of Antony’s were not like what a lot of today’s Christians think of on the topic of spiritual warfare. You know: a kind of personification of the evils of a secular world.

Antony didn’t turn an defensive, condemning eye on the culture around him.

Antony’s demons were more like those of C.S. Lewis in the famous Screwtape Letters. Lewis writes in the voice of a senior devil mentoring a trainee in the fine art of temptation.

Screwtape’s focus is not secular forces or even the usual vices. It is anything that will work to turn the Christian’s attention from faithfully following Christ.

Tempting thoughts, personified

Actually Antony’s demons look suspiciously like the personification of ordinary distractions:

First he attempted to lead him away from the discipline, suggesting memories of his possessions, the guardianship of his sister, the bonds of kinship, love of money and of glory, the manifold pleasure of food, the relaxations of life, and finally the rigor of virtue, and how great the labor is that earns it…

If you’ve tried to write, or do any other creative project you must know those voices.

There are the voices of wealth and possessions:

Before you took up this crazy dream you could earn money and buy stuff! Wouldn’t this go better with a newer laptop? Maybe get a real job so you can get what you need.

There are the voices of responsibility, like Antony’s need to provide for his little sister:

Shouldn’t you find a more reliable way of providing for your family? These people need you. Aren’t you being kind of selfish giving your time to this project?

And of course the voices of pleasure:

Wouldn’t a latte be good right about now? And a scone along with it? Or maybe a nap.

The modern writer’s demons also include the voice of fame and glory, just as Antony did:

Shouldn’t you do something to get your name out there? I mean when your book is done you’ll need to be connected with readers. Maybe set up some Tweets for the week. Maybe you should spend an hour on Facebook. Gotta build up those numbers.

And the voices of work and rest make a heady mix:

This is just too hard. You’ll never get done with this project. You need a rest. No no, you deserve a rest. Better still, just give up and do something easier for a living.

When none of this succeeded, Antony found the demons using sexuality to sway his devotion:

And the beleaguered devil undertook one night to assume the form of a woman and to imitate her every gesture, solely in order that he might beguile Antony.

Notice that anything can be used to distract you from your goal. It doesn’t have to be something inherently bad.

The demon comes in person as the wrong good thing.

The way Antony dealt with all this is interesting and useful, and I hope to return to the topic. For now, though, I’ll just share two useful pieces of his method that I think are good for any writer:

1. He kept a discipline. The devil’s purpose was

to lead him away from the discipline

but Antony kept at it.

No matter the barrage of invisible critiques, he kept his rhythm of prayer and work. That was what was attacked. Antony had chosen a sound discipline out of faith, and he stayed on task.

2. He kept a perspective. Though it is easy to think it was Antony’s own strength that mattered, his biographer credited Jesus, quoting Scripture,

It is not I, but the grace of God which is in me.

Or as Antony himself said to the devil,

You, then, are much to be despised, for you are black of mind, and like a powerless child. From now on you shall cause me no anxiety, for the Lord is my helper…”

So I’m keeping at it. I’m coming back, again and again, to my chosen discipline. And I’m trusting Christ to bring me all the way to victory.

 

Ever have to battle inner demons? I’d love to hear about it in the comments…

————

This post contains affiliate links.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Filed Under: Saints, The Inner Life of the Writer Tagged With: Antony the Great, Desert Fathers, fighting inner demons, Life of Antony, St. Anthony

Hungry for a better way to go deeper with God?

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to my weekly(ish) newsletter -- I'll send you links to every new article, as well as updates on new projects. Just click the orange button.

Subscribe!
As a thank you, I'll send you the ebook version of my book Love Your Bible: Finding Your Way to the Presence of God with a 12th Century Monk. It's a modern introduction to an ancient, prayerful, Christian approach to Scripture.

Comments

  1. gary panetta says

    August 30, 2016 at 7:08 PM

    I’ve had to battle inner demons ever since leaving my job, going to seminary, and being in ministry.

    I’m a risk-averse person, so none of this comes naturally to me.

    Nevertheless, nothing worthwhile in regard to creativity or ministry comes without risk.

    Reply
    • Gary Neal Hansen says

      August 30, 2016 at 7:36 PM

      Thanks, Gary. If risk aversion is your demon I think you’ve had some serious victories!

      Reply
  2. Rich says

    September 5, 2016 at 10:27 AM

    Good “writer’s life” comments, Gary. Yes. We all have them (distractions, excuses not to write, etc.), don’t we? Your reflections on some of the “saints” like Antony, and C.S. Lewis, and that they too fought the “demons” that distract us– not sure that helps me– but it does assure me that all writers have to “fight the demons” that seem to pull us away from the PC screen, the keyboard. and that pull my mind away from focusing on where I want to go! …and there IS a positive side too, isn’t there? IF what I am doing is a “God-thing”– I trust that my thoughts, reflections, and a little wisdom will get expressed with a few worthwhile words strung together in some meaningful way! …like your’s. Thanks! –Rich

    Reply
    • Gary Neal Hansen says

      September 7, 2016 at 8:44 AM

      Thanks Rich! I really appreciate your affirmation on this. Hope your writing is going well…

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Theology. It’s good for you.

I'm a Church historian by trade. My writing, speaking, and teaching explores the Christian past to equip today's disciples. Join me here for regular posts on the best of theology, spirituality, community, and ministry. read more…

Recent Posts

  • A Children’s Sermon on Luke 1:26-38 — The Annunciation
  • I’m in a play! “The Memorandum” by Vaclav Havel
  • A Children’s Sermon on Matthew 5:38-48
  • A Children’s Sermon on Matthew 2:13-23 — 1st Sunday in Christmas Season
  • A Children’s Sermon on Matthew 11:2-11 — Advent 3

Search the site

Need a new and manageable way to dig into Scripture?

Find out how it can be a joy again--or maybe for the first time. Love Your Bible: Finding Your Way to the Presence of God with a 12th Century Monk is a modern introduction to an ancient, prayerful, Christian practice called lectio divina. Click the button to subscribe to my weekly(ish) newsletter with all my new articles and announcements. As my way of thanking you, I'll send you the ebook version for free.

Get my book!

Archives

Let’s connect on social media…

  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Search the site

  • Community for Mission
  • Letters to a Young Pastor
  • Christianity as a Second Language
  • Role Models for Discipleship

© 2023 garynealhansen.com · Rainmaker Platform