Imagine: You start having odd symptoms. Your doctor does a scan of your head. There is a tumor. Two treatments are possible: each has very serious risks. How do you decide?
That is the situation Rev. Catherine Stewart faced a few years back. The journey that follows is the subject of her new book, A Goodness I Cannot Explain: A Medical-Spiritual Memoir.
Now since she actually wrote the book some years after the events, I won’t need to shout out “SPOILER ALERT” when I tell you that she lives.
Whew!
But knowing that she lives to, as it were, tell the tale, there is much good to be found here. The book will be a particularly good fit for two groups of readers.
For people facing medical crises
First, this is a book for people facing difficult diagnoses or complicated medical decisions–as well as those who love someone in such a situation. Cathy lays bare her inner world in the midst of struggles many of us will someday deal with.
The author is a Presbyterian minister who has delved deeply in to Catholic spiritual practices, particularly through association with Benedictine communities. She writes openly of her long experience with lectio divina and spiritual direction.
She lets us know from the beginning that her practice of lectio divina was the key to making her difficult medical decision, but we also see here held up through relationships with her family and her congregation, all of whom offered a variety of spiritual insights.
The process and the decision ultimately depended on these pillars of her spiritual life. This was not an abdication of the intellectual, but an embrace of the whole and the human.
That is, she did copious amounts of research into the science of her ailment and its treatments. But science, rather than giving clear objective answers, left her with risks and questions that could only be answered on internal criteria.
Her process was not simplistic. She did not simply hear a voice making the decision for her. And she did not measure the rightness of the choice she made on the medical success of the outcome.
She found a path that allowed her to know that God remained with her in the midst of her crisis, and God gave her permission to make a wise choice that fit.
So, if you need good company through your own health crisis, here’s a book for you.
For those who love spiritual memoir
The other audience for this book is those who love spiritual memoir.
There are different kinds of memoir, of course: Some tell a classic story with cliff-hangers, and a final crisis. Others chronicle gentler journeys and learnings during a particular season of life.
This is of the latter variety. The tone is measured, the pace is leisurely, and for the most part we know the outcome when we start. It is the inner journey that matters.
Cathy has cultivated a remarkable openness with us, her readers. As well as the primary medical decision we get to see her struggle with troubling symptoms, difficulties in recovery, and deep emotions.
The great thing, though, is that we see her face it all in the context of a very prayerful life. And in an era where many faithful Christians are longing for a richer, more engaged spiritual life she can be a role model.
Especially useful is her example of a modern variation on lectio divina. I’ve written on classic lectio, which is a prayerful engagement with a passage of Holy Scripture. Cathy, like a number of other passionate Christians I know, applies the framework of lectio to all kinds of things, including life situations like medical crises.
I think this modern variation works best if there is a foundation of the classic version of the practice, filling heart and mind with biblical insights. But taking lectio divina as a stance toward life can, as Cathy shows in her book, nurture a deep mindfulness and provide a way of listening to God.
The Benedictine tradition has clearly been fruitful for her. I was struck, though, by the thought that teachers of the Ignition tradition have a very great deal to offer in this regard, and a more direct path to the kind of spiritual life exemplified here. I wondered if Stewart might find herself drawn (and if readers who like her work might find themselves drawn) to writers like Margaret Silf.
You can pick up Cathy’s book on Amazon:
Giveaway
I’m giving a free copy of the book to a randomly selected reader of this post. Just leave a comment below to be eligible. (I’ll select the winner after the post is up for one week.) If you have a question for the author, maybe Cathy will stop by and answer..
Disclosures: Cathy is a friend, and I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher. There are affiliate links in this post.
Thank you for sharing this book! As someone looking at going into hospital chaplaincy, stories or spiritual-medical journeys are near and dear to my heart. I will definitely be adding this to my to-read list!
That’s great Jennifer! Thanks for commenting. When you do read it I hope you’ll leave a review on Amazon.
I’ll post the lucky commenter next Friday.
I am living through the grieving process now since losing my husband, Kent, to lung cancer on Nov. 21. Would this this book would be helpful for those who are grieving? I’m also interested in the Benedictine practices and am curious to learn what she adds to them.
Laurie, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Perhaps Cathy will comment on your question herself, but here’s my take:
There is a thread of the book that would be very good companionship in the journey of grief, because she had to deal with known losses that would come through her treatment options, before and after treatment. She had to grieve — though every grief is different, and losing a spouse is its own long dark exprience.
And apart from the form of grief that is woven into the book, there is benefit for someone in grief to simply walk a few miles alongside someone so open about her life with Christ.
Laurie,
It is good you are reaching out for help in your loss. Grief is such a winding journey. Grief and loss is one theme that runs throughout the story I write. My losses were nowhere near the magnitude of yours, but one reader who had just lost her mother said that it helped her. She read it over and over. I hope you give yourself all the time you need.
In terms of your question about Lectio Divina: I was first taught Lectio Divina as a way of praying with a text of Scripture. We listen for God to speak through the Bible. What I talk about in the book is how I discovered Lectio Divina is really much bigger than that: we can listen to the stories of our own lives for God to speak through them. Also, whereas I first thought of Lectio as a kind of devotional practice for 20 minutes at the beginning of my day, I realized that Lectio can be more like a way of life: listening throughout my day, through everything that happens. Does that make sense? That’s one of the things I talk about in the book.
Peace to you, Cathy
This sounds like a book I would really enjoy. Health and spirituality have ben longtime interests. Thanks fir sharing.
Thanks Lora! I’ll post here next Friday about who gets the free copy.
Life is difficult to navigate. This book seems to be a valuable personal map through private navigable waters of body and soul. Thanks for putting it in my path. I believe it could be a comfort.
Thanks Jimmy! I hope it is indeed a comfort.
I have often been asked if there is such a book available for lay people. I think this will be a wonderful resource to have in my office, for our Stephen Ministry group and for our Deacons. So often we don’t share what we are feeling when we are faced with serious illness — feel unworthy, feel we want to be alone — when in reality we need to reach other and support each other.
Thanks for writing the book and Gary for sharing it with us. God bless you ministry through this book and any future ones to come.
Thank you Cheryl! It is heartening to hear that it may speak to a real need. I think it will be helpful to lay people. Do let me know if you find that it does.
Peace to you,
CAthy
Congrats on being the big winner Cheryl! Send me your address by email and it will be on its way.
sounds like a book I should’ve read 2-years ago!! I’d be very interested in how Lectio was a turning point for Catherine.
If you do pick up the book, let me know your thoughts on it!
2015 was a challenging year for our congregation. I am an Associate Pastor for Pastoral Care and Education. We had 3 congregation members diagnosed with a glioblastoma brain tumorwithin just a few months. 1 died withing 4 months, the other two were eligible for surgery and cancer treatments. We continue to walk through this valley with them. I would love to get a copy of your book, so that I am better equipped to walk alongside during such journeys. Thank you for sharing your story. It is a memoir that is much needed.
My goodness, Patricia, that is a lot to bear.
Praying for you…
Gary
Hi Patricia. “Brain tumor” is such a scary thing for people. Mine wasn’t even cancer (it was benign, but big) and that was scary enough. 3 people in your congregation: that is really hard, asking for such spiritual strength. All peace and grace to you in your role, and to your congregation. Cathy
Thanks for sharing Dr. Hansen. This seems like a great resource for the Church and pastors.
Yes, Hank, it is really a good one for pastors to know. It is a great window into what people in your congregation go through, whether they share the same spiritual approach or not. And it could well give some insights as to how to be helpful.
Blessings,
Gary
This sounds like a good read. We all wrestle with knowing God’s will for our lives. This is on a different level, with a new-to-me style of wrestling.
Hey, Lisa, great to hear from you. Yes, using lectio divina in this way is a rich and countercultural way to wrestle with God’s will, and God’s presence no matter what circumstances one faces.
Blessings,
Gary
And the lucky recipient of the free copy is…. Cheryl Betts!
Cheryl, I’ll send you an email to get your mailing address. Then the book will be on its way.
Thanks to all the rest of you too. To get a copy of the book from Amazon click on one of the links in the post, including the cover image.
Blessings,
Gary